| (no subject) |
[Mar. 29th, 2009|11:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | ihatethatasshole mood | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | exgirlfriend- no doubt | ] |
some guy wants to beat up my boyfriend over another girl
what does that say about my boyfriend's relationship with the girl?
what the FUCK am i supposed to make of that?
we must say no to smoking.
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| you're so fucking special |
[Mar. 27th, 2009|12:21 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | creep- radiohead | ] |
i feel myself sliding down the spiral of despair
shan't let myself contemplate life too much
because i realise all people who do end up killing themselves
and i don't quite have the guts to stick my head in the oven. or in my case the microwave.
i suppose i should be quite happy
confessions of a shopaholic was funny enough, though like all books-made-into-movies, the book is always better.
looking forward to tomorrow and sat night (:
Whatever makes you happy,
whatever you want.
You're so fucking special,
I wish I was special,
but I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here,
I don't belong here.
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| and they tell me i'm not stupid |
[Mar. 25th, 2009|10:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | nonchalent | ] |
chemistry is the bane of my existence,
i sat there for 3 hours and twiddled my thumbs and ate hi-chews
while looking at people furiously scribbling on their scripts with minute handwriting and crazy fervor in their eyes
my essays were a couple of blank sheets stapled together
i wouldn't want other teachers blaming my invigilator for forgetting to collect my script when i actually didn't have anything to hand in.
it should bother me that i don't give a fuck
but it really doesn't (:
 excuse the pornographic material, but it's the only way i'm gona see a guy and a girl and a cigarette in the same photograph.
my boyfriend never lets me near a cigarette, much less kiss him while smoking.
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 18th, 2009|12:35 am] |
i can't quite describe how terrible it must be for her.
and in light of such a situation, i look upon my own worries and frustrations as shallow.
i think grief was the word invented for misery X 10 |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 16th, 2009|09:09 pm] |
gorgeous and cigarette in hand.
lets have some fun this beat is sick
i wana take a ride on your disco stick
i wonder if the govt actually knows what it means, i can't believe they're playing this on the radio.
love it nonetheless.
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 13th, 2009|12:00 am] |
need to email fel
need to sleep
"that is a big gamble, and jc is not a casino" -Ms Lai
need to stop justifying your actions
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| why people shouldn't come to mjc |
[Mar. 8th, 2009|10:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cynical | ] |
does anyone feel that having a significant other saps all the intelligence out of you?
i always thought i'd be a cool girlfriend who doesn't give a shit about what my imagined boyfriend is doing or who he's doing it with.
turns out i was wrong.
but anyways, life sucks.
school sucks.
the WEATHER sucks.
it's so damn hot from 12pm to 3.30pm and then it starts raining like there's no tomorrow. and the cycle repeats.
man, this global warming thing is really starting to take its toil.
march block tests are in 2 weeks and i'm not ready.
wasn't ready for promos, won't be ready for this either.
i'm not sure if i'm allowed to blog about it because she hasn't yet so i'm gona keep my mouth shut (or my typing to myself) and not say it yet.
but hell, i wish i could stop losing my friends to Australia.
i miss hanging out with my friends, though we did nothing but eat prata and bitch. and drink ourselves silly. but at least i had something to look forward to during weekends. now all i do is read harry potter and cry over stupid things like mom forgetting my dinner. i really need to get a grip.
Never thought i could feel nauseated from fear before, but jc shows you how evil this world really is.
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 27th, 2009|06:24 pm] |
i'm thinking i should feel remotely sorry for her.
but i don't.
oops
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 24th, 2009|12:09 am] |
after dance..
P: so you mean he comes all the way here just to send you home and then go home?
before road race.. (ru sent me there cuz i wanted company to walk from pasir ris interchange to pasir ris park. hahaha)
anonymous ex-ahsian: you bi yao ma chia cherng ru?
translated: is this really necessary chia cherng ru?
i think i am really quite a spoiled and bratty girlfriend. oh wells.
i used to laugh at my chinese ahs boyfriend, but i think he treats me better than i deserve.
i know i let you down
but it's not like that now
this time i'm never letting you go
ps: i just did something quite bitchy, but i don't really regret it. HAHA.
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 19th, 2009|09:58 pm] |
i am gona stop being so emo momo.
he's not worth it, no guy is.
:D:D
we're still tgt la, he just doesnt deserve all that emotion.
hahaha
insomnia acting up again, downed 2 sleeping pills but still hyper and high. just very physically tired.
you have no idea how torturous it is to want to sleep but can't.
oh and fel, i would totally date you. you're hot. muack! |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 18th, 2009|09:52 pm] |
i am feeling better today cause ru came to fetch me after school :D
i was practically running after the last lecture to go find him cause i havent seen him in FOREVER.
yes i know i am very pathetic and a poor example of female empowerment.
bite me.
we watched a dvd then went to play bball together and i'm feeling the happiest i've felt in ages
hahaha.
i love you ru (:
*edited
HAHAHAHAHA. who am i kidding. things will never change. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 16th, 2009|02:46 pm] |
i miss fel. life sucks to the MAXIMUM OMG. this is by far the worst month of my life.
i rmb how fel came over with pizza and a pack of cigs when i felt miserable last time. there are not too many people who know your 2 favorite things in the world.
now i have zero appetite for life. AND for food. hunger pangs are almost a feeling of comfort now, reminds me that i'm still alive and human. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 15th, 2009|08:31 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | it's not over- second hand serenade | ] |
i had the worst valentine's day in the history of valentine's days.
firstly there was dance camp. like who the hell organizes camps over vday? _|_ to the initiater of this stupid scheme. but i had a lot of fun talking shit with fuzzy at night. hahaha. i was taking advantage of my japanese roots by yelling bukkake over and over again during lunch, thinking that no one but fuzzy and i would understand. unfortunately, yeeling was all like giving me the weird stares. guess someone has been watching frisky videos..
then of course there was the whole pseudo break up thing which happens every 3 months or so because of the need to stir up drama is an otherwise boring relationship. this one was especially excellent because it ended up in me bawling my eyes out alone in a creepy park in the middle of beach road with pervy banglas staring at me. although we are as usual, back together, this time it's just not gona be the same. because there are only so many times a heart can break. and i'm quite tired of hanging on to the shreds.
guess i'm just gona have to brave this out alone. put on that usual smile in school and study for the chem test that i know i'm gona fail anyway.
cheers my friends, i sure hope you had a waaayy better weekend.
my tears run down like razorblades
i know i'm not the one to blame
it's you, or is it me?
and all the words we never said
come out and now we're all ashamed
and there's no sense in playing games
when you've done all that you can do
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 12th, 2009|11:54 pm] |
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i'm starting to ponder the possibility of dying from a broken heart.. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 7th, 2009|01:15 am] |
just got home from sending fel off.
i am fucking depressed.
i hate my life and one of my closest friends is in fucking trinity.
(i hope you like it there fel, cuz singapore is kicking my ass)
i suck and math and chemistry and i have cca 4 times a week.
i don't know what i am gona do after jc2.
i have no goals or ambitions in life, i am sucha loser.
and if i actually do get myself an ambition, what happens if i dont achieve it?
i dont wana go mainstream and go to nus/ntu/smu and come out a factory-produced singaporean (though i think that's highly possible looking at the current situation) but neither do i wana go overseas and leave my friends and family behind.
i dont know what i want. i am quite, quite lost right now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 29th, 2009|10:00 pm] |
you are so poser to the maximum. try to act all classy and unfriendly when really you're like this HUGGGEEE online slut.
and you think you so cool and funny.
i see through it.
*scoffs* |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 28th, 2009|11:00 pm] |
it's my birthday :D:D i'm 18.. and old. like a dinosaur.. :(
it's so strange how when i was 16 i was longing to be 18 so that i can do all things illegal (then) but legal now. but when i finally did turn 18, these things no longer hold much appeal to me. maybe the government had a point by making 18 the legal age, because hopefully by then people will be able to know what are the impt things in life :D
i feel very blessed and loved and i am a happy girl. *blows kisses to everyone*
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2009|11:34 pm] |
omg. i have to share these crazy tips with everyone. i was reading a thinspiration website (aka websites anorexic peoplte go to) because ohsofickle linked them. some of their weight loss tips are fucking siao.
002. Pick one food for the day, like an apple. Cut it into 8 slices. Eat 2 slices at breakfast, 2 at lunch, 2 at dinner, and you'll have 2 left for a snack. This way your body thinks it's eating 4 times that day, but in reality you've only had 1 apple. The next day pick another food. Make sure it's only 1 serving that you split up into 3 or more throughout the day
009. When you are hungry, do something gross like dig for worms, clean a kitty litter box, or something. It will make you less likely to eat.
024. When you go out, take only a few bucks with you so when you walk past the pastry shops you can't afford anything. (actually this is what i do in school leh.. HAHAHAHA)
044. Hit your stomach when it grumbles because that will make the sound go away and your stomach will hurt too much to eat. (this one win already lor?)
049. Persuade yourself that you don't like a food, take your favorite food and when you look at it and think yum, think yuck instead. Even if you dont believe it at first, even just thinking it goes a very long way, and eventually you will convince yourself that you really dont like the food. (i hate chocolate. i hate chocolate. i hate chocolate. nope, doesn't work for me!)
052. Take a picture of yourself scantily clad, and every time you want to grab for the cake and cookies and ice-cream, just look at the picture (it could be nude but keep it hidden). (siao, my mother will kill me.)
062. Always wear a rubber band on your wrist.. When you're tempted, snap it. Operant Conditioning is a wonderful thing (You know, Pavlov, the infamous salivating dog and Baby Albert?).
077. Eat a tiny piece of onion (like 1/2 in square). That way you have onion breath and people believe you really ate. (ommmggg... this one is really funny!!!!)
093. Wear nail polish to cover up the bluish tinge that starvation gives your fingernails so others don't suspect it as much. ( why do people do this to themselves..)
http://www.freewebs.com/ana-beauty/best100thingstoknow.htm
all 100 tips are there. geez.. reading these tips actually make me feel hungry. i am never gona be thin. HAHAHAHA
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2009|10:37 pm] |
okay i'm gona start talking about friday onwards. it's an extremely exciting thing to have something to blog about other than school and dance :D:D
ponned school on friday, woke up at 9.30am with a sms greeting from analformteacher "please get mc.. blablabla.. and this applies to all other school functions." yeah yeah, whatever. she's gona have a hell lot of MCs to collect on wednesday anyway, seeing how most of my friends ponned too.
met boyfriend to go buy MC and guess what, the doctor gave me a one week excuse from dance and pe too. how awesome is that! no 2.4km for me on thursday! then rented a dvd and proceeded to spend a very happy uneventful afternoon together (:
rushed to block 85 bedok hawker for my mama's birthday dinner. my mama is my nanny who took care of me since i was like.. a month old la. ate chilli crab (happy to the maximum man)
caught a midnight movie with the girls (bridewars) then had a slumber party at my place. yeah i know i'm very loser, they called me a traitor cause i was the first to fall asleep AGAIN. i couldnt even make it past the first movie.. what is wrong with me!
had work on saturday and left early to go home for reunion dinner. STEAMBOAT :D
and today had another reunion lunch at my mama's house then caught a movie (inkheart) with boyfriend and his brother and my sister. i hope his brother and my sister dont end up like.. hanging out too often. that'd just be weird.
i have life outside mj. hallelujah. |
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